Jim Inhoffe cracks me up. He’s running for re-election to the U.S. Senate. The first commercial I saw from him extolled the virtues of him being a stubborn asshole. But his best commercial so far is his attack on Andrew Rice’s support of gay rights. When it came to presenting ads explaining why we should vote for Jim, I guess his campaign manager couldn’t come with anything. So they launched a series of ads explaining why you should not vote for the other guy.
If I were his campaign manager, my ad would go something like this:
“Hello, I’m Jim Inhoffe. I am in no way affiliated with that toilet-whore Daniel Craig. He and his gay card-toting friends represent everything that is wrong with America. Clothes would be cheaper if gay designers didn’t raise the price of fashion. Food would be cheaper if gay waiters weren’t jacking up the prices of food service. Gays are the reason flower shops are so high.. And have you been to the theater lately? The only reason Celine Dion tickets are $200 is because of her entourage.
If you vote for me, I’ll make sure we correct this problem. I’ll pass laws to make Crocs fashionable so you will no longer have to buy designer shoes. Tuxedo T-shirts will brought back in style and may be worn in place of actual tuxedos. All restaurants will be turned into all-you-care-to-eat buffets so there will be no need for waiters. Flowers will be widely available at Wal-mart so you won’t have to go to a real floral shop. And we’ll close down all theaters. You can watch HDTV instead.
The gays will have nowhere to work and they will just have to go somewhere where they are welcome, like France.
I’m Jim Inhoffe and I approve this hate speech.”
There are bigger issues. I put my Andrew Rice sign up in my yard this morning.
When a couple of black guys made themselves up to look like two white girls in the movie White Chicks, did anyone find it offensive? No. Unfunny, yes. Offensive, no.
