Transformers 2 Review

Where to begin? From the very first voiceover (which is as pointless as the first voiceover in the first movie), you know the movie is going to be a turd. In many ways this movie is a perfect example of how Hollywood can mess up an existing franchise. Much like George Lucas, Michael Bay has no idea how to make a movie for his target audience. There are robots in this film that reminded me of Jar Jar Binks, but it gets worse. To try to widen the appeal of the movie, there are a couple of ethnic robots, one Hispanic and one black (complete with a gold tooth). Neither one can read. They both use slang like “I’m gonna put a cap in his ass” and “punk ass bitch”.

Also, I’ve heard complaints about the use of the term “masturbation” in the first movie. Seriously, it has no purpose in a kid’s movie. Well, folks, the sequel is worse. I heard someone use the p-word (sounds like a cat). There are three scenes involving humping. And the best part is when you get a robotic crotch shot and there are two large metalic balls.

Transformers 2 is a narrative mess. Characters show up, do something useful, and then they vanish until they are needed again. Some characters have no purpose at all. The plot is way too complicated, and the last action sequence is at least an hour long. I kept wondering how much longer it would go on.

And yet, even with all it’s flaws, I didn’t hate the movie. Is that wrong? I just hope they don’t make another one.

Tags: funny humor transformers