I talked to my mom the other day and got the weekly report of what my brothers did during the week. The last report was one of the better ones because it contained two incidents.
The first incident began when my mom heard some commotion in her bedroom and went to investigate. She found both my brothers. The oldest one, Alex, was stabbing holes in a shoebox with a colored marker. Intuition told my mom that there was something in the box that should not be there. She took the box away from them and found their kitten in there, now with blue polka dots all over it. It was otherwise unhurt. When she took the cat to the vet later that day to get it spayed, I’m not sure how she explained the blue spots to him. I’ve decided Alex is going to be a serial killer. It always starts with animal torture.
The second indicent occurred at my grandmother’s house. It was warm outside, so mom told the boys to go out and play while she and her brother put together some furniture. A couple hours later, they hadn’t heard a peep from the boys. Mom’s sister went out to find them. They were nowhere to be seen. My mom went outside and looked, too. She started calling for them but got no response. As it turns out, they had climbed inside the trunk of her car, shut the lid, and couldn’t figure out how to get out. When she found them, they were all pink and sweaty. They had been crying. My youngest brother, Auston, started saying “He made me do it! I didn’t want to!” All my stepdad said later was “I bet they don’t do that again.” I remain unconvinced.
Tags: brothers, funny, humor, serial killer
