The Year They Cancelled Christmas

I don’t know about you, but my Christmas was a bust.  I went to visit my parents.  My stepdad was sick when I arrived.  I stayed at mom’s just long enough to see my brothers open their gifts.  Then, I had to go over to my dad’s house.  I was planning on going back and forth between my parents’ houses over the holiday.

The next morning, I called to see what time my mom’s family was going to be at her house only to find that she and my two brothers were sick–as in vomiting and Hershey squirts.  She told me under no uncertain conditions to stay away.  I told her she didn’t have to tell me twice.

So I got to spend the holiday with my dad.  That was actually a good thing, since I don’t get to see him much.  We had a great visit.

Chick-Fil-A Overdose

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 100 times: I’m never eating at Chick-Fil-A again! And yet I always eventually go back. I love it so much.

I especially heart the cookie and creme shake. It puts all other shakes to shame. I just wish they had a smaller size. Everytime I have one I immediately feel like I want to vomit. It’s really that good.

Help Desk Oxymoron

I guess I’m on my outsourcing soapbox today. My company has outsourced it’s help desk to India. Today, not one but two of my coworkers have had bad experiences trying to obtain help.

One was on the phone for thirty minutes trying to get his password reset in one of the applications we use. That was comical enough, but the second call was hilarious.

One of the first things the help desk agent asked was if my coworker was calling from Australia. I can understand how you might confuse a Southern Oklahoman accent with an Australian one. At this point I couldn’t resist. I started sending instant messages to him with phrases to utter so she might better understand. Phrases such as “G’day, mate,” and “Throw another shrimp on the barbie.” Then when the agent couldn’t understand what the problem was, I suggested he say “There’s a fuckin’ herd of kangaroos attacking the data center!”

Great, I just locked my account. Now it’s my turn to call. I’ll tell them I’m Russell Crowe.

Angry At Amazon

Amazon has had six rounds of super cheap Christmas deals. I was selected to participate in round six which was for a $400 Kitchenaid mixer for $69. They had 500 of them. The buying started at 8:30 AM.

So this morning I hit the snooze button twice before remembering about the sale. Then I leapt out of bed and flew into the shower without even touching the floor. I took a shower in thirty seconds flat. I probably used a cup of water total. I put my clothes on while shaving and brushing my teeth.

I made it to work with fifteen minutes to spare. I logged into Amazon and was presented with a countdown timer. I was set.

When the counter reached zero, a button appeared saying “Add Item to Cart”. I clicked it. After a few seconds the order confirmation screen appeared…with the non-sale price. Having never done this before, I confirmed the order thinking it might still give me the discount. It did not.

Cursing loudly, I went back and hit the add button again. After waiting for thirty seconds, the web page refreshed with the message “All items have been sold.”

I called customer service. Call me a racist, but nothing aggravates me more than when customer service is outsourced to someone who’s first language is not English. It’s so un-American. The guy I got on the phone spoke pretty good English, but when I tried to explain that Amazon had cheated me, he had no idea what I was talking about.

If I could have strangled him through the phone, I would not have hesitated.

They really could just have customer service handled by a physical brick wall because it would have been exactly the same experience. I gave up and asked him to cancel my order. At least he understood that.